Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Daddy Questions

I need your advice…I’m asking for your opinion…on a few things…all related to “The Daddy Question”

I have started telling Elena the story of her…I’m interested in your thoughts…here’s what I tell her:

I always wanted to be a mommy…I waited & waited & waited…until I couldn’t wait anymore. I thought & thought & I looked & looked & picked the very best donor. Then, I went to a special Doctor & he put the donor sperm into Mommy’s tummy & it combined with Mommy’s egg…& it grew & grew & got bigger & bigger…& became YOU!! I always wanted to be your mommy. I love you so very much & you make me so very proud”…then we kiss & cuddle.
The funniest is that she gets so excited when we get to the part about the doctor & she squeals, “Doctor! Doctor!” She also loves the part about getting bigger & becoming her.

What do you think? Can I phrase any of it any better? Am I missing any important info? Am I giving too much info?

Elena is still calling my Mom “Daddy” instead of Gramma. We never refer to her as daddy but my Mom does answer to it. Initially, it felt as though Elena was just confusing sounds. For example, she says doctor “gah-go”…but it has become apparent that she knows the difference between “daddy” & “gramma”. At gymnastics, when a father is there, she will point at them & say, “Daddy!” (I don’t mean she thinks this is her daddy, she is just pointing out he is a daddy) When I encourage Elena to say “Gramma”, she just looks at me slyly…I have even just made it a non-issue, thinking she’ll just switch to Gramma…part of me feels as though this is the name she has chosen for my Mom & it doesn’t seem to bother my Mom…so why not just let Elena call her Daddy?

My concern is, now that Elena is attending preschool, interacting more & more with other children & families, will she be ridiculed for calling my Mom Daddy? It can be complicated to explain to new people all the time that Elena means Gramma when she says “daddy”…when the three of us are out together & Elena is calling “Da-dee!!!” & my Mom responds we get some odd looks for sure. So what are the potential issues with Elena calling my Mom daddy? Do you think I should worry less about what others think & just let Elena call my Mom what she wants? What about when she gets to kindergarten & older?

Elena has become very aware of men lately; she points them out all the time & says, “Maaaan.” She will also identify them as daddies. So she seems aware what a daddy is. Am I harming her psychologically by allowing her to label my Mom “Daddy”? Daddy feels & sounds so much like a term of endearment when Elena says it in reference to my Mom. Am I harming her psychologically by forcing her to call my Mom “Gramma”?

What do you think? What advice do you have for me? Because I am turning this all over in my head constantly & would really love to hear some new perspectives.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Two & a Half?!!?

Yup, that’s right! Today is Elena’s Half Birthday!! Sounds about time for an update, no?

Yesterday was a big day…Elena started preschool!! She’ll be going 2 mornings a week & I know this will be so very good for her. It killed me not to be there, to not be the one to drop her off…I’d always imagined taking the morning off work to drop her off on her 1st day of school…but my Mom had been taking her to the drop in program her teacher ran all summer…so Elena was comfortable & familiar going…if I had gone, Elena likely would have made a fuss…but my Mom did me proud & took LOTS of pictures!!

When I got home from work, I asked her what her favourite part of school was & she said, “Buwee” Huh? & she said it again with earnest enthusiasm…but I had no idea what she meant…so she said it louder…because isn’t that what we all naturally do if someone doesn’t understand us? I still have no idea what Buwee is but I’m glad she enjoyed it so much whatever it was!

It is obvious that language is still a challenge for us…and the major source of frustration for both Elena & I. Her receptive language is remarkable…mine, not so much, lol! At least of her language…I understand so little of what she’s trying to say…& now she’s speaking in 2 & 3 “word” sentences, so it’s getting even harder to understand…some of the time I know intuitively what she is trying to say & that feels good. It’s also amazing when she says something clearly & I stop dead & say, “Did you just hear that?!!?”

The other challenge is that so many of her “words” sound exactly alike…like buwee, bwue, bwoon, & other variations…she could be saying blue, balloon, bubble…but when I correctly identify what she’s saying, boy do we celebrate!!!

Tomorrow we see another Speech Pathologist to be reassessed to make sure we still qualify to attend the program available for Elena…I’m anxious to hear her thoughts. The program sounds amazing. There are 6 Parent only Sessions plus 4 Individual Video-Practice Sessions.
She is a very tall little girl! It's hard to get her to stand still long enough to get an exact measurement but she's about 38 inches tall. She's solid too at 36 pounds...
She eats very well with minimal complaint...pizza is definitely her favourite! Every night we don't have pizza, she says "No buppy, Momma"...buppy means pizza, by the way...she's not big on breakfast but will usually have fruit & yogurt when encouraged...she also loves V8 Fruit Smoothies. She also has enjoyed her fair share of popsicles this summer & has become an expert pudding pop maker! She is so proud to share them, knowing she'd made them herself.
Physically she is very active...she has come so far this summer with her balance bike & has mastered coasting. The park is one of her favourite places & she has no fear on any of the structures. She loves to jump & will jump on or over just about anything!! We couldn't get back to gymnastics soon enough!! Which starts back up this Saturday.
And swimming! This little kid is a fish!! She loves being in the pool & she doesn't even use her water wings any more!! She's tall enough that the water in the kid's pool comes to her chin & in the deeper pool, she's fine with a noodle.
She is so precious playing with her dolls. She is so sweet, cuddling them, kissing them, swaddling them & when she puts them to sleep, we all have to "shhh". She also loves to play with her mega blocks & her Little People sets. She loves to read & be read to...she loves stickers & finger painting.

All in all, our life is good. We’ve had an amazing summer together…so many awesome memories. We have so much to look forward to this fall & winter too!

Happy Half Birthday, my precious little girl!!
Her Cheese Face

1st Day of Preschool at her own cubby -
again with the cheese face!!